I am afraid it's me again
I went to see the spinal surgeon today (this was the appointment I turned up to on Monday to find out I had the wrong day ). I was hoping to see the main consultant as he had said last time I saw him that if the latest round of accupuntcure I had with his specialist physio didn't work, he would possibly consider doing the facet joint injection. Upshot of it was I saw one of his registrars who had absolutely no bedside manner and was treating me like an idiot. This person categorically refused to consider the injection and either contradicted everything I tried to say or spoke in such an officious tone to put me down. In the end I said something along the lines of:
I can see we are getting nowhere fast here and I keep going round and round in circles with appointments, so I am going to leave now, thanks for your time!!
I then stormed out (or should I say hobbled with my rollator) in a flood of tears - talk about make a scene The gutting thing is, I have just sorted myself out to get back to work after a month off with reactive depression and insomnia and I just couldn't stand to listen to yet another doctor bilittle me.
Luckily, the physio I had been seeing for the accupuncture had spotted me before my appointment and we had had a chat, and I knew he was still around, so I managed to have a word with him afterwards and tell him about the situation. He was very kind and is going to write to my GP to say that although not guarenteed to cure all my pain as it has become chronic, the facet joint injection in my lower back may be of benefit. He sat me down in his office whilst I composed myself and even made me a cup of tea and gave me a cake and I spoke to his wife who is also a physio with experieince of HMS and she has agreed to see me in her clinic on a day that the main consultant is around in a couple of weeks for another opinion. I think that rather shocked the receptionists as the registrar had summararily discharged me (probably because I had the audacity to walk out of the consultation ).
Anyway guys, that's my latest news. I thinking I was relying so much on feeling like I was getting somewhere with this appointment that I just couldn't take being told "there is nothing that we can do for chronc pain patients with EDS other than offering core stability exercises". I am realistic in my expectations and know that I will never be 100% pain free and I need to do the exercises to improve. Perhaps though, if I had the injection, I would be significantly pain free to be ABLE to do the core stability exercises My trouble is, being quite low emotionally at the moment, I never handle myself very well in these appointments and find it hard to get across what I am trying to say. I get all tongue tied - particularly when I keep being put down by the Doctor.
Sorry to go on and on. There is so mucj I want to say, but I just can't find the words to say them. Methinks, I might sense another poem coming on shortly ..........
Thanks for listening,