I walked out of my hospital appointment today!!

[Sue New]

Hi Guys,

I am afraid it's me again

I went to see the spinal surgeon today (this was the appointment I turned up to on Monday to find out I had the wrong day ). I was hoping to see the main consultant as he had said last time I saw him that if the latest round of accupuntcure I had with his specialist physio didn't work, he would possibly consider doing the facet joint injection. Upshot of it was I saw one of his registrars who had absolutely no bedside manner and was treating me like an idiot. This person categorically refused to consider the injection and either contradicted everything I tried to say or spoke in such an officious tone to put me down. In the end I said something along the lines of:

I can see we are getting nowhere fast here and I keep going round and round in circles with appointments, so I am going to leave now, thanks for your time!!

I then stormed out (or should I say hobbled with my rollator) in a flood of tears - talk about make a scene The gutting thing is, I have just sorted myself out to get back to work after a month off with reactive depression and insomnia and I just couldn't stand to listen to yet another doctor bilittle me.

Luckily, the physio I had been seeing for the accupuncture had spotted me before my appointment and we had had a chat, and I knew he was still around, so I managed to have a word with him afterwards and tell him about the situation. He was very kind and is going to write to my GP to say that although not guarenteed to cure all my pain as it has become chronic, the facet joint injection in my lower back may be of benefit. He sat me down in his office whilst I composed myself and even made me a cup of tea and gave me a cake and I spoke to his wife who is also a physio with experieince of HMS and she has agreed to see me in her clinic on a day that the main consultant is around in a couple of weeks for another opinion. I think that rather shocked the receptionists as the registrar had summararily discharged me (probably because I had the audacity to walk out of the consultation ).

Anyway guys, that's my latest news. I thinking I was relying so much on feeling like I was getting somewhere with this appointment that I just couldn't take being told "there is nothing that we can do for chronc pain patients with EDS other than offering core stability exercises". I am realistic in my expectations and know that I will never be 100% pain free and I need to do the exercises to improve. Perhaps though, if I had the injection, I would be significantly pain free to be ABLE to do the core stability exercises My trouble is, being quite low emotionally at the moment, I never handle myself very well in these appointments and find it hard to get across what I am trying to say. I get all tongue tied - particularly when I keep being put down by the Doctor.

Sorry to go on and on. There is so mucj I want to say, but I just can't find the words to say them. Methinks, I might sense another poem coming on shortly ..........

Thanks for listening,

Sue.

[nickb]

Oh Sue sorry hun just sent you a PM before seeing this

I'm not suprised you walked out-how dare they treat you like that? Will you consider writing to complain?

I'm glad your physio was there for you afterwards though-fingers crossed with his help you can get something done

take care of yourself my dear xxx

[Retro]

Ooooo Sue

I'm with Nick, that registrar should be shot at dawn in his Y-fronts (just imagine that image

I really hope the physios manage to help and you do get to see the consultant.

Lindsey

[Sez]

Well done you on being brave enough to walk out. That registrar had NO RIGHT to talk down to you. I have had plenty of these appointments myself, and have never had the courage to tell them to .

Good luck with getting the injection and your physio clinics. Personally, I would write a letter of complaint to your normal consultant about the registrar's attitude problem .

[Sue New]

Thanks Guys,

Retro - Thanks for making me laugh I have got that image in my mind now.

No, I don't think I will complain, I am not that kind of person (maybe that's why I don't get anywhere in life - I normally just let people walk all over me and take it without standing up for myself ).

I really am not after miracles, but just a little bit of help and understanding would be nice. When I first went to see this consultant I paid to see him privately as I was so desparate - that was over a year and a half ago now. He said at the very first appointment that if the physio didn't work he would consider the injection to (in his own words) "cheat and help relieve some of the swelling", but now when I see him he keeps saying lets try this first and if that dosn't work we will think again. I am just so tired of waiting and being in constant pain A friend of mine had some pain in her lower back, but as she has private health insurance, she was seen by a consultant and given the injection the very next week. Of cousre I was pleased for her as she was in a lot of pain, but that don't help me in my situation. She was told that giving her the injection would make it less painful for her to do her physio exercises. Life just seems so unfair.

A word of caution though folks ...... I very nearly blew my chances by walking out and it was only the fact that I go to speak to my physio that I managed to salvage something from the situation. So I would suggest that anyone else considering doing what I did thinks long and hard before actually going through with it.

Sue.

[Englishgremlin1]

sorry to hear of this visit - and glad something ood came of it in the end. I have often felt like doing as you did and walking out. May be the consultant will have things to say to his junior.

[naama]

Sue, I know how you are feeling. I have twice walked out of a situation with a doctor because they were so officious and patronising. Once was in A&E the other evening. I am still contemplating writing to PALS to complain about him. Sue, I know you are not the sort of person to complain but really you should. Firstly, because you are entitled to be treated like a human being, to have your opinions heard and to be valued. Secondly, because if no-one complains then nothing changes. I am going to wait until I've seen a physio before I complain but even without a second opinion, I have the right to be treated properly when I attend A&E or any other department. I at least should be asked where my pain is!
Sorry, I didn't want to turn this away from you. Good on you for going to the physio afterwards and I'm glad that you've actually gained something even though you haven't gained the injection. It seems that you are in that unenviable cycle where you are in pain, you wait to see a doctor, the doctor tells you to try something, you are in pain, you wait for the follow up appointment....
I don't have any answers of how to deal with that because I'm doing the same at the moment! I guess we have to realise that even though an appointment is coming up, it is not going to be the day that you get rid of your pain unless you're very lucky and they do something there and then.
I can understand why you are low emotionally at the moment - you have an enormous amount on your plate. Is there someone who can go to appointments with you at the moment? A friend, or anyone if it can't be a family member? Sometimes even knowing there is someone in the waiting room to dissolve on afterwards is enough to bolster your confidence.
Thinking of you.

[Hayley]

Hi Sue

Just wanted to say sorry to hear about your dreadful experience at the hospital. I hope you're feeling a little better today

Hayley

[jo-jo]

Hi Sue

I never go to appoinments alone! I'm not brave enough - I'm always so scared that the docs won't believe me and will be like that one was with you. We shouldn't have to feel like this, but I don't think there is anything wrong with taking someone - he may not have behaved like this if you had some support with you. Bullies like to be like that if they are on a 1:1.
So sorry you had to be faced with this - not fair!

painfree hugz

Xxx em xxX

[sarahh]

Hi Sue my lovely I have only just seen this thread. I am so sorry to hear about the appt seeing the registrar, he was out of order and no bedside manner either that is really bad. Awww the physio and his wife sound lovely doing all they can to help. Good ida the physio seeing you in her clinic and getting another opinion from the main consultant. I really hope he can help and offer you the facet joint injection and that it will work for you hun as you deserve pain relief from all this.

Take care hun

Sarah x

[Sue New]

Hi Guys,

Today was the day the physio arranged for me to see her and then possibly the main cpnsultant afterwards. I decided to take a day off work as I was due to go to a Christmas Lunch in the afternoon (which has subsequently been cancelled, but that's another story ). My hubby took time out of work this morning to come with me for moral support (he had to do a lot of jiggling with meetings to take me). I turn up 10 minutes early and give in my name, and the receptionist says "Didn't you get a message?" ........yep, you've guessed it, my appointment had been cancelled and no-one got in touch with me . I have to admit, I just burst into tears again . The appointment has now been rescheduled for mid January.

So, now I have a whole day off for nothing .

Sue.

[hannah]

Sue. I wish I could sort it for you, but I can't. I hope you manage to have a relaxing day though.


Hannah

[Rosie]

Hi Sue

What a nuisance, they really don't make things easy for their patients do they? Have nice relaxing day, or do something tha needs doing but you had no time/energy left for, and turn today into somthing positive for you.



Rosie

[nat05]

Oh sue, thats so disheartening. YOu could join me in my PJ day? Will not be getting dressed today

i dont think they ever call ealry enough. They dont think about the patients who take three times as long ot get to appointments
x

[sarahh]

Oh Sue hun , They are naughty not getting in touch with you they should have made sure sure and double checked aswell. These hospitals just don't make things easy for patients, I phoned the Pain clinic today and they had forgotten to arrange a follow-up appointment for me.

You take care my lovely

Sarah x