I'M DEFERRING UNI!
After the huge struggle I have been having at uni with my health, housemates, mobility, lectures, coursework...
alongside an emergency 'respite' break at blaadyblah's house (+ a chat with nat at the meet on fri), I have decided that for the sake of my health - both physically and emotionally - that I need to stop right now.
The way things are right now, I would no way be able to carry on until June, let alone make it until Christmas and that is only a few weeks away.
The worst bit was telling my mum - I was so scared about it.
but I did it
There is so much that I have learnt this week (THANKS Blaady and Nat).
Ok it is going to be difficult sorting things out but having gone through this week, I know that I can
get through this.
A break is what I need - time to get better. I have written lots of lists and emails to people so that I have everything sorted for what I need to do next week so will try not to dwell on it too much.
Yesterday was difficult when a friend rang up and guessed why I wanted to see her next week - she got all hysterical and was like 'don't leave me...' after thinking about it all night I have drafted an email to her just explaining why I haven't talked about it before and how difficult I find it.
It's going to be tough but I know that I am not on my own.
The plan of action now is:
Counselling Ã¢â‚¬â€œ self esteem, assertivenessÃ¢â‚¬Â¦
and anything else that I can sort. Am even considering a wheelchair as it made such a difference on the occasions that I have used one. And...it's not giving in
or giving up
it's getting back control and using aids to have a better life.
Got to tell uni tomorrow but will keep posted on what happens etc.
and to my housemates and anyone who dares try and put me down again - here's a gift
"Just when I got my head together, my body fell apart".
"I think I have a problem with my joints..."
The heaviest thing I can carry is a grudge.