hi,
i've had terrible surgery 3 months ago in my hip (tumor) and now i'm supposed to be getting better and waiting to be told i can one day get out of my wheelchair. but my joints are just deteriorating and i can't get any help. all of my doctors are convinced that i either have pain because i take morphine and try to convince me to take more and more morphine (which i don't want, i want to try to take less and be more alert, and i always thought the medical establishment was trying to give less pain killers, not more - it's strange...) or because i have HMS. i doubt that's the reason, so i wanted to ask for advice.
the place where i had the surgery hurts, of course, but i have a new pain which is in all of my joints. it's terrible, and they feel very stiff; it seems more similar to what people who have osteoarthritis describe. or maybe even fibro? i don't know; i've never had stiff joints before - they've always been too loose, but now i have horrible pain in my hips, knees, ankles, shoulders, elbows, 'etc., and if i stay in one position for long i feel as though my joints were broken and refuse to move and i have to force them to move again or the pain gets worse and worse. maybe this is a result of sitting in a wheelchair, and not being active, i don't know - whatever it is, it's almost unbearable. i went to a pain specialist who said i should try to take a medicine for meuropathic pain, i think it's called neurontin, but my GP refused to let me have it and it's very expensive privately. so that was that.
so i wanted to ask if this sort of pain sounds familiar to anyone? what would you suggest? the rheumatologist refuses to see me; he insists that i have to go to pain management, but this is a new and unfamiliar kind of pain. my GP just wants me to take more morphine and i'll be fine

no matter how many times i say that if i have to keep taking fentanyl patches and sleep for the rest of my life, then i might as well not even try to make an effort because i don't function. i admire people who manage to take these meds and function; i just sleep all day long. it's a waste of time to be alive like this. there are so many things i want to do, and all i basically end up doing is staying in bed, in agony, and doing absolutely nothing.