My problem is that I don't know what
I want to do with myself
I think if you've got a dream of being a midwife, then you should go for it. There's no reason why you can't, and once you're qualified you don't have to work for the NHS. I'm sure there are private organisations as well (aren't there??) or you could use the qualification to do something related. But once you're qualified then it's down to you what you want to do with your qualification. I've got this vague notion of being a psychologist but once I'm qualified I could do anything I want with it - become an Educational psychologist, become a psychology teacher, put it towards training for a similar role...
I think a lot of this, as with your weight loss thread, comes down to having faith in yourself and belief that you really can
turn your life around.