Wow, I'm sorry Blaadyblah, that's awful! Thing is, if you'd have said something they'd have dismissed it as "well we know you're not faking it, but some people...." because people are quick to judge strangers and not quick to think of the alternative. Not to mention it's positively encouraged at every stage to "spot the frauds".
I've spent most of this week feeling crappy because the guy I share a house with called me and the OH "lazy f*** b*****d" the other day because we hadn't done the dishes (not realising I was still sitting in the living room - I do the dishes because my partner cooks and I like to retain some responsibility - the guy we live with knows this). We had a massive row and I explained (yet again after many, many arguments) how I *save* doing things that require standing for too long, or being up from the sofa and do them all at once so I don't have to go through the pain of getting up and sitting back down more than is absolutely necessary. Met with the reply "but it only takes 5 minutes, I just think it's lazy" despite me saying time and time again that I'm in pain ALL THE TIME (as an aside, why does that statement not shock people like it should? Pain, constantly, that's shocking!) and that what takes him no effort at all is ten times harder for me. Standing still just for 5 minutes is painful, let alone lifting heavy plates into and out of the sink so yes laziness is exactly it
Thing is, after the row, he apologised and gave me a hug and normally I'd forgive it, but I just can't get over it this time. I'm sick of him constantly saying hurtful things without thinking and thinking he doesn't need to change his behaviour (despite the reems and reems of information I've given him, all the emotional and difficult conversations I've had with him where I've opened up and been vulnerable in the hope he'll get the b****y picture) because he apologises afterwards and it's all over. It's not all over, every accusation of laziness takes years to get over, every knock in confidence takes months to bounce back from. Not to mention the fact that if someone I've lived with for three years doesn't get it, how will anyone else understand and not judge me when I'm in pain?!
I just can't forgive him this time and it's making being in the same room as him unbearable at the minute. Luckily we're moving soon.