Insensitive comments

[trekster]

i got a reply to my email which reads as follows, i dont beleive them because some of my friends attend and would have told me if there had been a problem;

"Thank you for letting us know about your concerns, we appreciate your feedback and try to take things like this into account.

With regard to the venue, we moved it because it was too noisy and expensive. At one particular session which you did not attend, one of the other members became very distressed because of this and for this reason we have decided that a small pub is more suitable than a bar as a venue. You mentioned that the (alternative venue) is a better option, but the previous project coordinators moved from this location based on feedback from the members. Therefore, it seems counterintuitive to move back there to support the members. As a result, it was for the members rather than the students that we decided to change the location. We think it is worth noting that when we asked members about the location last term and when you raised the issue at the last meeting, all others were happy with the (current inaccessible venue).

We have been in contact with the (current inaccessible venue) about food. They informed us that they usually serve food until 8pm on Sundays, and last week was a rare event. Therefore, there shouldn't be any further issues with this and if there is this would of course give us reason to review the venue.

In terms of accessibility, some of our volunteers drive here and there have never been any issues with parking. If there is, and as with your issues with the toilet, remember that we are able to help you with this and would be very willing to do so.

Overall though, having made the decision and alerted people of this, we have now decided to see how this goes for the next few meetings for consistency. We will review how we feel this has gone at the end of this term based on feedback from all our members.

Finally, you raised concerns about reminders by text. Again, this is something we can consider. However, we send out letters to those who choose not to receive emails due to concerns of missing them. In addition, we have the (groups name website) which we keep updated. As you do feel this is an issue, we will respond to this by asking all members if they would like to receive a reminder by text.

We hope that this resolves some of the issues you raised, and if not then at least explains why we have made the venue decision based on what we think is best for all members. As mentioned previously, we will continue to ask for feedback about the venue from other members and review this decision at the end of term."

The comments about 'never been issues with parking' are totally wrong because i told them i was having problems parking as the disabled space is cornered off (is that legal?). Also i would have heard if there was a distressed member and i tried to warn them it was too expensive beforehand but my views were ignored. Local pub group members and myself fought for years to get a more central venue and now it seems like they are going back on their word. Also the issues about 'a small bar being better than a pub', local pub group has a venue that is suitable for this other group and we dont have problems there.

[sheppeyescapee]

The thing that worries me there is that they dont seem to be taking the accessibility seriously. Just because we have ASD doesnt mean we cant have mobility issues too It is something I come up against time and time again, so many groups that I would like to go to but cant because the venues arent wheelchair accessible so therefore being excluded from groups because of this Putting the group up a massive hill in a building that is hardly accessible is hardly inclusive

[trekster]

Getting into the building when we arrive is difficult as there is a step to the pub.

Isn't there a legal requirement for the pub to provide a disabled toilet and reasonable access to their facilitates?

I know what you mean with regards to mobility access and ASD, the groups we run (me, sheppey and another friends of ours)
are wheelchair accessible and are for those on the ASD spectrum.

Another annoyance is that now 1 of the facilitators has decided to delay elections due to their workload. Is it a conflict of interests
for a potential candidate to run elections for themselves?

I dont know what to do to convince them to move, do I have more rights to say where we meet because of my additional mobility needs?
Is now a good time to contact the University about the problem?

[lollipop]

I was told today, to use half term to get better and really think and try to get better at not being so ill!

Well thanks! I've had 1 day sick from a tummy bug. Although i've been run down alot i've still gone in and done my job. Yet the head is sitting there telling me how worn out she is after 6weeks, well that was me on week three but i've kept going.

[trekster]

Thats disgusting lollipop.

[lollipop]

I was rather shocked when she said it. I've had no voice for 5 days now but I think it's cause by being a bit run down and the stress that this week has been.

[Makeoohsothoughtful]

On thursday I had to see a doctor who is not my usual doctor as my doctor is on holiday.

I told him I have been falling over and he said what do you do for a living and I said I am a student. He said you were probably drunk.

I dont even drink

[trekster]

Thats a disgusting attitude to have many students are teetotallers.

[sheppeyescapee]

Unfortunately I have also come across this quite a few times since being a student! I think I've only had about 2 units this year so far

[Chloe♥]

Yep, no one believes me when I write on the form that the most I have in a week is 2 units and I drink less than once a month.
With the meds I am taking, alcohol just makes me fall asleep, instantly! That's not conducive to having a good time!

[mrsc2b]

I was told today, to use half term to get better and really think and try to get better at not being so ill!

Well thanks! I've had 1 day sick from a tummy bug. Although i've been run down alot i've still gone in and done my job. Yet the head is sitting there telling me how worn out she is after 6weeks, well that was me on week three but i've kept going.

I can't believe that she said that! I'm sure you should bring up the DDA next time and explain that she needs to make more effort! Then again, she probably wouldn't listen!

[lollipop]

It would be a waste of my time because they have no idea how to deal with me. I can't do right for doing wrong.

Chloe - I don't drink either. Last drink was 28th dec as we was away for a few nights and before that I can't remember.

[trekster]

i dont drink enough to fall over, in fact i have never fallen over whilst drunk (in the past).

Lollipop couldn't you put in a complaint to her manager?

[star gazer]

I don't drink either, last one was half a glass of bubbles on christmas day, but you should see the looks i get when I stagger around the supermarket, its normally when i get very tired my balance is hopeless and you get that sort of stepping backwards stagger, then the knee will bend backwards too far causing a sideways stagger so yup i am convinced that Tesco think i am permanently sozzled or did, not so bad now i have my sticks and chair. It is a classic example of people jumping to conclusions or assumptions, almost as bad as an insensitive comment especially when falling down out doors. A common line i get from family and friends is "been at the gin again?" I used to laugh but its not funny anymore and has worn very thin.

[FunkyPhysicist]

I am totally devastated today after a trip to my doctor (who is usually understanding and helpful with the HMS).

It started off with being called in by some bloke I had never seen before! When I questioned the fact that he isn't my doctor he said that would I mind if he sat in? So obviously being caught off guard and being keen for newbie docs I said sure. Then things just went a bit downhill from there! Firstly it seemed that they had decided that the newbie was taking the session instead of my doc but I thought fair enough, doesn't matter.

I was feeling a little upset as my back (problem number 1) was absolutely killing me after being kept waiting for over 40 mins in the waiting room. I apologised and explained that I hadn't taken my painkiller yet at which point I received "that" look and was asked in a patronising tone "And why haven't you taken them?" I just looked at him and stated that I didn't get chance before coming out to the appointment.

All I was asking about that was whether or not the severe pain and problems could be caused/exacerbated by hyperlordosis and what muscles need to be stretched to sort it out as I will get the pt that I have in the gym to help if I am right. He then asked if he could feel my back at which point I reluctantly agreed until he decided to shove his fingers hard into my dodgy spine at which point I burst into tears from the extreme pain. The only saving grace was that he did apologise "if" he had hurt me! The stares of two doctors as I tried desperately to stop crying was totally humiliating and it was only after I repeatedly asked whether or not that could make sense that I got a shrug and "it could make sense". Their answer was to just take more painkillers or other drugs if the painkillers are not enough but at 25 I refuse to go down that line! At least until I have exhausted every other possible option.

I then persevered and went onto problem 2 which was digestive and I wanted to get referred to a dietician or something to try to help my poor innards. After lectures about the painkillers have that side effect (true but I had problems waaaay before the painkillers were introduced) and that I should maintain my ridiculously healthy diet (like I am going to stop!?!?) I then got told that I will not be referred to anyone for help as AND I QUOTE: "You are too smart and you have done everything that they would try anyway so there is no point." Really???? So someone with qualifications in this cant help me? After sitting through the lauded "Food Hospital" programme, I did kind of assume that it was a little bit more complicated since they wouldn't publish any of the diets and that you should get referred for an individual program!!!

I am so sorry for the massive post but I was so upset and even though I have a host of other probs (arthritis etc) I don't think I will be bothering with doctors any more. I didn't even mention that the other day my SI dislocated (my spine going INSIDE!) and when I managed to relocate it I nearly passed out and went into shock for about 2 hours!

Sorry again and hope everything is going better for everyone else...