I agree that the Head teacher was very rude, but I think that maybe she was also very bad at getting the point across. We have been told by a woman from Parent Partnership that to get a statement, or any assessment, their has to be a file containing several pieces of paperwork, such as IEP's, reviewed IEP's, details of help that has been given and the effect that has had. I think the head teacher was trying to make this point - but obviously has no people skills and didn't make herself clear!! It might be worth you getting in touch with your local parent partnership - you can find them through a search on the net, and you can then find your local contact. The woman who came out to see us was fantastic and supported us at a meeting with the head teacher, this made us feel less intimidated and she also took notes for us so that we could concentrate on getting our point across without having to worry about remembering every last detail. They can advise you on the legalities of SEN and what the school should and shouldn't be doing, and also what you can do as a parent. Unfortunately these things do take a long time to get anywhere, but hopefully the fact that you are getting some help now, will mean that they can give him the extra support he needs and he wont have too much to catch up on!
Good luck! x x
Finally diagnosed March 2011 after 20 years of hypochondria!!!