Work Life Balance?

[mrsc2b]

How do you do it? I have a demanding job and often have to plan and assess at weekends to keep up. This as well as rest up enough to get back to work the next week. I have no hobbies and can barely keep awake in evenings after work. Housework is a no go unless I have enough time to recover so my mum helps out. I'm 32 and have gone down hill constantly for the past year.
Does anyone have any advice? I'm going to CA in Jan to see a new rheumy. I'm hoping that they can help me.... I can't not work!

[Tibisca]

Oh I do feel for you,
I too have a demanding job, I have managed to get a bit of balance back by working 2 days a week(All that I am allowed to do by HR after having loads of time off).It means that I have the energy to do things out of work and the house is a little more tidy, but finances is becoming a major issue as My other half retires at the end of the month and our youngest is still at university.

Is going part time a possibility for you?
Are you able to get occupational health, or wellbeing at work in to give you some support?
I probably havent said anything to help you but please do make time to look after yourself .
I do know that being able to get back to my hobbies has made an enormous difference to my general wellbeing and allowed me to switch off from work for a time over the weekend.

I hope that you can get some support to help you get through this,another thought is do you belong to a union, I have access through mine to counselling and maybe talking things over with someone may help you to find a way to improve your situation.
Thinking about you
Tibisca

[mrsc2b]

Thank you so much Tibisca. It's so lovely to know that people understand on here. I'm caught in the pain cycle and dont seem to be able to get out at the moment. Hopefully a couple of weeks off over christmas will help
Thanks again for your kind words
Hope you get a good rest over the festive period too
x

[Tibisca]

Hi Mrsc2b

I was just wondering if things were improved for you now, and that you were able to get a much needed rest over Christmas.
The end of term was awful for me, A third of the school (staff and pupils) ill with flu, then the stress of trying to get there through the ice and snow!
Sending you more hugs incase you need them
Tibisca

[LisaKSA]

Hi there,
I am new to this site, and am having a really hard time with this too.... Balancing work and home and kids and hubby.... Went back to work in march 2010, 2 and a half years after having my second child. It was just supposed to be part time, but then a full time position came up, and I had to take it.... Not many full time jobs are available there, it is the type of environment i want to be in.... And my hubby's job was a contact job, and will be ending soon......It is a very demanding job, mentally and sometimes physically...
Having such a hard time balancing everything, finding myself being grumpy most of the time, from fatigue and joint pain.... What do some of you do to cope and be able to push through?

[Ems_85]

Hi Lisa,

I have a tough time with this too. I often do 11 hour shifts in an active job that also involves listening to other peoples problems/pains and helping to get through them. I know it's not easy and really feel for you!

I found writing a list of the things that I enjoy doing and make me happy, really helpful. I keep it in my purse and a copy on my bedroom mirror and it reminds me to do those things!

Its just simple things like reading a book, listening to music, going for a walk, painting my nails or having a bath. Even when I don't have much time and there are things that I should do, I try to stop and as myself...."what do I need to do?"

If I know the housework needs doing but I am grouchy and will only stomp about and feel the pain that it causes so much more, I put it off for between 10 minutes and half an hour and do something from my list first. I often find that 10 minutes is all I needed to make myself feel better then I get down to the things I should do. Usually in a much better mood and in the case of the housework, with my favourite music blasting!

Things don't get done as fast and often aren't finished or perfect but my partner is very supportive and would rather have a little more to do himself than have me miserable and snapping all of the time! I know you'll probably feel guilty at first (I still do), but I really have found that It's better for my life and relationships in general if I look after myself....even if its just for 10 mins a day!

As for work....do you get a break? If so get out!!! Even just getting out of the building that I work in helps me to relax and switch off for a while. If I can't I find a quiet corner out of the way with either a book or my ipod (not the staff room as it's always busy and noisy!).

Of course all of this may be rubbish to you, as it's just what works for me but I hope it's given you at least some ideas!

Ems x

[Ems_85]

You really got me thinking on this one and I've realised something else that I do (without realising it until now!).

I do half a job then move on to something else! for example...Washing dishes hurts my upper back and neck so do what I can then stop after about half and do something that involves being more upright, like ironing or hoovering. I usually find that my lower back or hands and wrists hurt from things like this so when that starts I go back to finish the washing up.

I only realised as I've been doing housework today! So far my day has been.....Take the dog for a walk, have a rest and paint my nails. Do half of the washing up then half of the hoovering. Post on here then finish the washing up. Finish the hoovering and put the rubbish out. Have a shower and get my work clothes on then start to mop the floor. Do my hair and some stretches then finish mopping the floor. Put my make up on, put a load of washing in then chill out before work.

Admittedly this has been a busier day than normal but it made me realise the little trick I use to get through so thought I'd share it! x

[Rosie]

Hi Ems

What you are doing is a form of pacing, something I didn't work out until I went on a pain management course

Rosie

[Ems_85]

lol. I thought it might be as my dad is very involved in pain management and I've looked into it a little.

I just don't really like to give things a name when they are just things i pick up and don't really know a lot about or really think about. Think it must be a confidence thing! x

[Rosie]

Hi Ems

Before I was diagnosed I had worked out all sorts of ways to adapt to my pain and fatugue levels, without really sitting down and thinking about it. It was only after diagnosis, when I wrote a 'how my condition effects me' doc that I finally realised what I was doing. One example was how I was propping my joints up in bed, as far as I knew I was just making myself comfortable! It is these little adjustments that make life easier. The wasy I look at it you have to be kind to yourself!

Rosie

[mrsc2b]

How do you all cope when you have no control over pacing on a daily basis? I can't get my rest when I need to I have to work around bells!

[rella]

Dear All

This work life balance has at last reared its ugly head and forced me to take notice of it. After suffering from HMS/secondary reynauds for 3 years now and various dislcocations etc, whilst still working full time and bringing up 3 kids, I got to go on a pain management programme, who really take this work/rest/play matter seriously, if we are to have any kind of quality of life. Now 4 weeks into the programme I have now been told that I am going to be made redundant (work for local authority 18 years, thanks David/Nick et al!)

I was referred to my occupational health doctor within the council (only saw her yesterday) who thought that I was currently unfit for work and definately not fit for full time work and was astonished that I had kept going so long with all the problems in tow. She was also wondering why my manager had not tried to assist me in the last 3 years. When I think to myself, I had come into work after dislocating my shoulder, falling downstairs, dragging myself onto the bus in the snow, with 4 broken ribs etc just to try and keep hold of my job. It really wasn't worth it.

It is food for thought, look after yourselves and treat yourself kindly. It doesnt do anybody any good to flog themselves half to death. I know we all have bills to pay, but there are other ways of making a living, we just have to change mindset and maybe change the way we live. Sorry about the rambling, am a bit emotional at the moment.

[nemonie]

[mrsc2b]

Spent all day working to make sure all my work is set for when I go for my injections. So instead of resting on my one of my 2 days of a week, I've been hunched over a laptop for 7 hours.......... I want to work to live but at the moment, I'm living to work.