Thanks for the replies everyone. I'm not worried about the anaesthetic at all since they've agreed to knock me out
I've been doing a bit of reading and it seems that she should definitely be head down by now, which she's not, and given that I'm not going to let them try to turn her in case she's inherited my bendiness and could get damaged from being manipulated, it seems like the decision's out of my hands, I certainly won't be attempting a natural birth with a breach baby. I had been trying a bit of lying in funny positions to try to get her to turn by herself but really struggled staying in any position for any length of time which rather suggests to me that I would struggle with labour anyway.
I've said every time I've seen a midwife that I'm worried about coping in hospital but they've always brushed it aside, one just said "everyone struggles after a caesarean" and completely missed the point that it would be even harder in a wheelchair. At my last appointment I did seem to get through a bit, I've got the name of the ward manager and I'm going to ask for a meeting with her when I see the consultant next week. It's occured to me I need to make sure there's a sit down shower, I think I'll start writing a list of questions. And no they won't let OH stay to help, doesn't matter how bad I am. I'm not allowed a private room after a caesarean because I have to be on the main ward so that they can keep an eye on me. On the plus side I do have a friend who works in the maternity department, she's not a nurse but she does bed baths and stuff and she has ended up holding peoples hands during labour. She's got a week off the week before I'm due but has offered to come in specially if I end up having the baby then, I think I'll take her up on it.