Sensitive comments

[Eloise]

This isn't sensitive but was a dig me out of a hole comment.

I was at a big training event yesterday afternoon and there was alot of walking and standing around so I used my walking stick. My colleagues are fine about this - but there was alot of people I haven't seen for a while and who are not used to me having a stick. I had probably explained to about 50 people that my stick was propping me up and i had dodgy joints. Then another woman came and asked again - "why have you got a stick?" - and I think my colleague realised how fed up I was with repeating the same thing - so she butted in and told the women "it is to hit you with and keep you under control" was really funny

[mindsquatter]

Wound up in school today becuase someone was off (I do bits and bobs as a volunteer). My hand fell off yesterday after I tried to lift a full kettle, so I was wearing a wrist splint. All the children wanted to know what I'd done, but the teacher wasn't there as I explained it to them. He didn't even mention it, but he did stop me doing stuff I shouldn't like getting the laptop trolley and dismantling the gerbil cage, which I thought was really good of him. I think it helps that his wife is disabled, so he does tactful really well.
Just reread what I've written, and should probably say I was dismantling the gerbil cage because one of the children was taking them home for the holidays, they hadn't died!

Michelle

[alice-emma-louise]

Not so much a sensitive comment, more an action.

My boyfriend has had great difficulty understanding the HMS, he doesn't get how I can be in pain all the time and thinks I "exaggerate"....this upsets me a little but I don't take it to heart as he really is the most lovely, sensitive person in the world so I know that this isn't intentional, he just doesn't get it yet. However, last week my arm wasn't straightening and I couldn't do a great deal with it....whereas normally he would do the things I asked of him but not really realise it was 'cause of the pain, this time he noticed I was having trouble shaking up the milkshake I was about to drink, he just took it off me, shook it up, opened it and gave it me back without saying a word.....completely out of character for him! I really think he's trying his best to understand more thanks to me telling him all about these forums!!

Allie

[Chloe♥]

Yayy!
It's always extra nice when someone just does something without a fuss. Especially when it's unexpected.
Hopefully your chap is understanding better.

[Stone]

I had a good one the other day - I was walking between departments with my boss (were going to chat with a couple of people elsewhere in the building). My knee subluxed in the lift and I put it back in, but it's always sore for a little bit afterwards. I was stumping alongside him back to my desk in my own inimitable fashion when he suddenly said 'Are you ok? You're limping' and looked really worried. He didn't look much less worried when I told him I'd half-dislocated my knee and it would be ok in a minute

Stone

[jax]

Stone,

What's a bit of half-dislocation amongst friends eh!

All I can say is (does that help at all?) and maybe next time you have to limp you could
sort of use his desk to to support, slide slightly forward and accidentally knock his coffee all over his paperwork
I am joking of course.

[jax]

oops sorry - I thought that was in insensitive comments - oh well don't do the coffee thing
then please

[WinonaLemonade]

my sister got all stroppy with me the other day because i couldn't go round the shops with her in town and then yesterday we went in town and she said she felt really bad that she was angry with me before and she is going to try and be really patient because she might end up like me when she's older which would make her upset.

[Tiz]

An action rather than a comment. Last Thursday I went with some friends to Southampton Casino to play in a poker tournament (I've played less that 20 games in my life so I wasn't expecting to do well, just have fun). You get allocated a seat randomly at a table so I ended up playing with a group of people I'd never met. It hadn't really occured to me how used I've got to explaining to complete strangers what's wrong with me or that it even bothered me, I just expect to be asked now because I always am, but on this one occasion noone said a word. The chap I was sitting next to did compare sticks with me (mine was better that his!) but never asked why I had it. After the first break when my hands wouldn't cooperate and I just couldn't take my turn shuffling and dealing anymore and I had to ask someone to take my turn for me noone batted an eyelid, they just said don't worry about it and happily took over for me. They were all very nice, clearly quietly a bit concerned for me, but simply acted like a young person walking with a stick and not being able to shuffle cards was perfectly normal. It's the first time I've been in a situation like that and not felt like a bit of a freak, it was a really good moment for me so I thought I'd share it.

[alice-emma-louise]

I like to focus on the small positive things so this isn't really a major sensitive thing but it made me smile and I think we need more positivity!

Yesterday I went into town with my fella to go the bank, we then had a little wander up and down the high street which included going up some steps, on the way back down the steps one of them had a particularly large drop which I wasn't prepared for so I hurt my ankle and back...He laughed, called me a muppet, then walked me over to the wall and stopped...I was a little confused as to why he'd stopped but he just said "well are you ok then?" waited a minute whilst a jiggled my ankle around, then carried on walking at a slower pace than before. Was really quite lovely for saying he usually ignores everything about my HMS, I really do think he's putting a lot of effort into giving me what I need

A.

[Flora]

I was at the train station a while ago, and got chatting to another disabled person. After a few interesting suggestions as to how to make stairs easier (quad bike, and 4 large cute muscly men were the best ) they announced that my train was now going to come in at another platform. This station is really hard to move around, and I said that I would be ages moving (2 large sets of stairs) and hoped I wouldn't miss it. He then went up the stairs really quickly, found a station bod, told them I was coming slowly, and got them to hold the train till I got there. I was part way down the second step, when someone said not to rush, and just take my time, as there was half a train of people ready to throttle the driver if he moved without me! It left me smiling for the rest of the day, and they really cheered up this wobbly old bendy. Flora

[WinonaLemonade]

i was at my ict course today and the lady who runs it asked me if i had ME and i was a bit stuck as how to explain hms so i just said that i had the same kind of fatigue problems as with ME but i had trouble with my joints being floppy which is a really crumby reply but i completly forgot what i normally say. anyway she said that it must be so awful and affect my life a lot but she was impressed with how well i got on with things and am 'good spirited' (i don't know what she meant by that). it made me feel really good about myself and it was so lovely that she had an interest in my hms

[mindsquatter]

Lovely one today from an interviewer at a supply agency. I'd explained that I couldn't do day to day supply because of my disability (would make pacing a nightmare), but short and long term assignments would be ideal. At the end of the interview, I had to go and get some cash for my CRB check, but the agency is on the top floor of a really old building (anyone who knows Durham - it's the buildings where Whittards and Nat West are in marketplace) so he asked if I wanted one of the office staff to come downstairs with me to get the money once I took it out of the bank to save me going back upstairs!
Yay for thoughtful employers!

[Tiz]

In B&Q today I was returning their scooter and had to ask a lady to move her trolley so I could park it, on the way back from dropping off the key pottering along with my walking sticks I went past the same lady who asked me how I'm going to manage when the baby comes. Now there's a lot to read from someone's tone of voice because in some circumstances that could have been construed as a bit offensive but it was clear she was just a nice person being curious. I explained about my plans to use a baby sling and how I needed a bigger electric wheelchair, she was genuinely interested and said something about how it was good that there was the technology available and then as I was leaving she wished me good luck with the baby, I was quite touched.

[Lainey]

I was in Oban with my boyfriend over the weekend visiting his parents. Given that my boyfriend's car is currently on stands in his garage as he doesn't like the engine and wants to fit a new one, I had to drive. Its usually about an hour and a half, 2 hours drive from Glasgow to Oban. 3 and a half hours later, we finally arrived! I was in so much pain for most of the drive and had to keep stopping. Luckily my boyfriend is incredibly understanding about HMS but I didn't realise how understanding. I was wearing the heat pads to try and take some of the pain away in my back. However I was explaining that as they only cover a small portion of my back, not all the pain is "covered". He sympathised and when we got to Oban, he took me out to one of his dad's cars, sat me in the seat, fiddled with the engine and some buttons. Turns out the car has heated seats!! He winds the seat back so I am lying down so I get the heat to all areas of my back! I felt sooo much better! He then offered to buy me heat pads and fit them to my car for me so I will be more comfortable when I am driving around! I was stunned! I really do have an amazing boyfriend!