taking medication around children

[sanguine_emma]

Hi mums and dads, and anyone else who wants to give me advice!

I have a 16 month old toddler, Stephen. He's too youn'g to understand that mummy is disabled of course, but I've been thinking about haw I play the disability and medication thing as he grows up. I take some strong pain relief every day. I'm careful to keep it out of reach and locked up in a box, I have no doubt it would be seriously poisonous to stephen if he took any of it [shudder]. I'm just wondering what my attitude to my medication should be when I'm around him? I torn between two possibilities: wanting him to understand that these are mummy's tablets that she has to take, but they are dangerous and would make him very poorly so he mustn't touch them, or trying to be inconspicuous when I take the tablets so that they aren't on his radar, as it were. I'm leaning towards the former. what does everyone else think?

Emma

[janey]

Hi Emma, maybe it's something you could adapt as he grows in understanding. For example, while he's so little and at the copying stage, try and take the medication without him seeing you take it. As he gets older and understands more, explain about mummys 'special medicine' and that it's for mummy only. My grandson is 2 and a half now and is a bit obsessed with medicine and if he sees someone taking some he rolls up his trouser leg to show you his 'sore' (it's a mole) because he wants medicine too!! I think it also depends on childrens individual level of understanding, out of my 3 children it was my son who I had to really make sure everything was locked away in high places as he always seemed to want what he knew he couldn't have!
Hope that's a little bit helpful.
Take care
Janey

[ombili]

I think that's great advice! I agree, when kids are younger they're prone to try it just because they like to copy, but when he's older I do think that you should be open with him. I was raised by parents who were so anti-medication that they were practically Christian Scientists, and while I think they're right in a lot of ways I also think I have retained some neurotic attitudes that probably keep me from being open to the idea of medication when it's actually necessary. Showing him when he's older that medication is something that some people need to take to manage their conditions but isn't something that you take for fun or take frivolously seems like the way to go to me!

[Retro]

I think we just explained to Mark in ways he could understand when he asked. He's always been around meds too, between Jordan with his epilepsy meds, paracetamol, antibiotics etc. he obviously did have Paracetamol and antibiotics occasionally but with Jordan's meds which are almost all in medicine form he's seen it at least twice a day his whole life, then there's the Eye-Q and Melatonin capsules (broken into whatever he's most likely to eat/drink). Plus his Dad's meds which again, are regular. Now that he's 13 and the only member of the family not on regular meds, we joke about it

Basically, what I'm saying is...play it by ear

Lindsey

[paw]

When my kids were small I did not need daily medicine and I would usually take it in another room when I did need it. My Grandma would drop her tablets and I would tell the kids "if you see a tablet that Grandma dropped, come get me and DON'T TOUCH IT". That made for some amusing times they would stand a couple of feet away and point at it like it was a snake or something. Grandma had very bad hands and she left the tops off the prescription bottles! (Perfect example of how not to do it)

They knew it could hurt them, that it was only for Grandma and what to do if they found any. We never did cure Grandma of dropping her tablets. I have dogs and I worry they don't get hold of any, so I am very careful with my medicine. I don't keep it locked though. I would keep it up high if there were any children in the house or if they visited here often.

When I go to places with children I put my handbag up high in a closet or on a high shelf so they can't get into it. Another whole topic is making sure teen age kids don't take pain meds..... mine never even looked at my meds, but it is a growing problem. Just be aware of it everyone.

[Finarda]

My kids are totally used to seeing me take my medication - I take it several times a day so it would be difficult for them to miss. However, they also take medication - they both have 2 asthma puffers, plus my daughter has a steroid nose spray and acid blockers. Not to mention all the paracetemol, Advil etc that they've had over the years. I've always been very up front with them and made it clear that sometimes we need medication to fix our bodies or help us not be sick, but its something that we only take if really necessary.

I do find it a conflict if you have young children and dodgy hands - I end up getting the safe lids, but they are sometimes really difficult to get off.
Fiona

[sanguine_emma]

Thanks all.

I hadn't even thought it would change as he grew up, and of course you're right! At the moment, he doesn't really see me take anything except in the mornings when we're all in bed together. One of my favourite family times! Daddy has tea, Stephen has milk, and mummy has coffee and tablets and tries to wake up and relocate things that fell out in the night He snuggles and cuddles with both of us, and plays pretend raisins (picks up imaginary raisins, and feeds them to himself and us, so cute!) He occasionally makes a swipe for my tablets, but I've just said "don't touch, ouch!" which is what I say when things might hurt him. I can easily adapt the routine so I take the tablets before he comes into the room, if only I can drag myself awake in time. Ug. WHy are mornings so early?

[paw]

It sounds like Stephen needs some real raisins! You might adapt the morning routine by having Stephen "help" Daddy get things ready. Have him carry some small object that he can't break and you can take your tablets with water on your bedside table while he is busy.

It is not that you can't ever take tablets in front of a little child, it is more that when they see you with something they want it. Of course you are right to tell him they are not for children. You will figure things out as you go along and he will be fine about it.

I remember having a doctor kit when I was little and Mom gave me some M&M chocolate candies to be my medicine. That was fine because I needed them to play the game, but it is also a bad idea to tell children that medicine and candy are the same. My older sisters did get into some of Mom's medicine once and they went into the closet and sucked the coating off the tablets then spit them out when they got to the bad taste. That is another thing not to copy from my family. They were fine and hopefully my Mom learned a lesson from that. Keep in mind that this was a long time ago and they did not have as much public awareness of things like how to store medicine in the home.

[nonyanomemory]

I think everyone has given really good advice. At this stage I would try and get daddy to distract in bed in the morning while you take the tablets its just a really really inquisitive stage and yet the reasoning is not quite up to processing how dangerous meds can be. As Paw says perhaps distraction with real raisons (sp) counting them with daddy would enable you to discretely take them. It is a difficult one, I don't believe in hiding stuff from one's children but I have always been concernced that the children have seen me take such strong meds. It was different in my head that their father takes meds for his epilepsy as they knew from so early he had to - sounds silly I know. Bizarrely now that I have a daughter with EDS who does take pain meds although she does so reluctantly she does understand why I have had to and why she has to and now that my son also has epilepsy conversly it has been helpful that his father always has had to take regular medication as it helps him to understand (he is a teenager) that irregular med taking will make his epilepsy worse.

The reason I say this - confession time - when my children were little we lived in a very small flat and I had medications in a cupboard with a child lock on, which was above counter top shelf. I am five foot so this did make getting to them difficult. I was in the bathroom and the children playing happily, when I came out the youngest had pink all round his mouth. I tried very hard not to panic and asked eldest what youngest had eaten, she said oh I gave him those pink ones that make you better. They were in a bottle with child safety cap! She was unsure how many she had given him and said that she had done it because he had bumped his foot and said it hurt. How she climbed up opened the safety catch and the bottle I will never know but at A & E they were really understanding and we spent an anxious 24 hours on the children's ward. She did say to lovely understanding registrar when he asked the bottle said push and turn (she was a very early reader) I did receive a visit a week later from my lovely health visitor accompanied by a social worker ( they are obliged to visit following a situation such as this) all ended well but I have never ever forgotten it. We also have a lot in our house with father having epilepsy and my EDS so it is known that they are for grown ups and dangerous for children. Especially because of the hospitalization of my 1half year old all those years ago. To an extent the trauma of the whole hospital thing means my children knew for evermore just how dangerous strong drugs are.

Telling the children the truth that meds for grown ups are not suitable for children and are dangerous is just the truth. I have a step grandson now and because he does not live with us we do have a locked DD cupboard and are especially careful with meds. With two epileptics in the house and I take very strong medication it is a necessity.

We also have a separate medicine box for children which contains calpol etc. which helps differentiate between children and adults medication. The box with childrens meds is out of reach and in a completely different place to the first aid box with plasters etc.

It is a really really good question Emma and a valid one. You are so bright and intelligent I am sure that you will find the 'right' way and as your little one matures so will his understanding and your approach to the meds situation.

My cautionary tale I suppose is that all I did was go to the toilet and it took that short time to end up in a really traumatic situation. We all lived to tell the tale though but it was a lesson learned.

nonya

[Blaadyblah]

Just a thought - if you havee concerns about a child being curious enough to copy... pull yuck faces when you have to take your medicine. Madam went through a phase of asking lots of questions about my meds when she was younger and as she seemed to be getting a little too curious I spent some time making it clear that the process was quite unpleasant - she soon lost interest!