Insensitive comments

[alice-emma-louise]

Shen, that woman sounds awful! You're managing a masters and you should be proud, it's not easy! I'm 2 thirds of the way through mine and my goodness I'm exhausted and have completely messed up my joints with the intensity of it! You're doing well good luck with finishing!

Ax

[BendyBoff]

Shen - that woman sounds horrible and like the others have said if you can try to ignore her. My MIL is like that and I have found that it's an attention seeking thing so if I ignore her she doesn't get the attention and then she shuts up for five minutes (she is very persistent though and will be right back to her old ways a few minutes later!!). I have resorted to speak when spoken to on the rare times we see them as in theory she can't get upset or offended by something I say if it's in answer to a question (although she still does unless it's the 'correct' answer!)

xx

[shen]

Cracker: Victor Meldrew she even looks a bit like him!!

Thanks guys, I tend just to avoid her, she can be pretty decent at times but when she starts she can get pretty nasty. I think I am just an easy target because I am so much younger than the rest of them, most of them are in their 70s/80s even 90s so to them I am really just a baby! She doesn't see me as being her equal at all, because of my age its like I don't deserve any respect. She can just sometimes really get on your nerves with the snide little comments.

Alice: I totally know what you mean about the masters, i'm studying history and doing my dissertation now, the hours of research are killing my back and hips, it just seems like a never ending stream of papers and books. Good Luck with yours!

[meggy.nut]

Hi everyone. This latest comment was just...odd. I'm still not quite sure what to think. I was trying to explain to my dad why I don't handle heat well, and what happens (POTS episodes, nauseated, etc) and he looked like he was understanding things. And then he pops out with: "Oh, so you're like one of those pug-nosed little dogs?"
He started cracking up at his own joke, and completely ignored the rest of what I was trying to tell him.
How would you take it if someone told this to you?


Sending spoons!

[madmum]

It is correct pugs are not happy in heat,maybe your dad is in fact concerned but his way of dealing with it is to brush it off with wit. Even if he took part in that is a start,if there is a convenient moment ask him what he understood of your conversation and see what he says.
Years ago when I had an accident at work and started my knee problems one of the staff said I was like one of the wooden tops the way I walked. I just ignored it and felt sorry for her, She was a diabetic and I thought she should have had more understanding.

[meggy.nut]

Thanks madmum
I'm having some issues dealing with my dad at the moment for various reasons, so I thought I'd get another opinion. Unfortunately I doubt I'll get any answers if I ask, I've tried before and he always denies what he said in the first place.
I hope your knee is better today.

Sending Spoons!

[madmum]

Meggy nut men by definition can be difficult.

[minicooper_93]

my own god mother made a few insensitive comments recently, such as if you can race a car you can do full time work... slight difference is, the car i race is 15 mins per YEAR and i can stop when i want to, a job is a commitment and takes so much out of me, but she doesnt get that...
shes really upset me 4/5 times in the past few weeks, i dont know how to say to her or what to say to be honest :/ im permanently on my cructhes these days and i cant do normal 19 year old stuff like go clubbign etc, my one race a year is my time to be me, why doesnt she understand that?
mod edit - textspeak removed, please read the site rules

[madmum]

People in wheelchairs with limbs missing drive cars so why not you? I understand about work,I cannot commit to voluntary work let alone paid as I have more bad than good days and employers will not tolerate that. Some people sadly are just ignorant and pain is not a visable entity. Good luck with the driving.

[mazza111]

minicooper I feel your pain, my daughter is 21 and always on her crutches (well one at the moment because of the shoulder ). Maybe download some of the info on HMS and hand it to your godmother so she understands more.

[minicooper_93]

People in wheelchairs with limbs missing drive cars so why not you? I understand about work,I cannot commit to voluntary work let alone paid as I have more bad than good days and employers will not tolerate that. Some people sadly are just ignorant and pain is not a visable entity. Good luck with the driving.

thanks for the support im trying to get sponsorship from local companies to raise awareness of ability not disability in sports such as motorsport. im the same on the employer front, i just had to quit st john ambulance work due to my hms

[madmum]

Not sure if you know but Lewis Hamilton has a brother who is a disabled driver in sport.

[cracker]

i didnt know that madmum................... you learn something new everyday

[Nataliyatan]

Hi all,

I would be fine coping with the strangers or aquaintences comments...If my family and friends werent just as bad! I really do have to fight my corner all the time. Even my partner doesn't fully understand and he sees me at my worst.

What is really annoying me at the minute though is my best friends insensitivity. She's regularly really upsetting/aggrivating me at the minute and seems blissfully unaware. I feel bad for being so annoyed, but I think that if anyone will understand it will be you guys!

She is well aware that I am in pain every day...well in the same way everyone else is aware. I've told her, she forgets/doesnt believe its that bad.
She's pregnant, and from early pregnancy began complianing about being in pain. I was sympathetic at first (I have no kids yet...the pregnant body is still a mystery to me!) but as time went on and her stomach swelled...the complaining became more. Soon she was complaining that she couldnt walk or get comfortable sitting or laying down, constantly. And I mean, every time she moved, she complained. This soon started to grate on my nerves, Im in pain every second of every day!! I dont tell everyone about it constantly!! And she knows this! Plus her pain will end when the baby is born, I'm stuck with mine for eternity!
I just feel that this is so insensitive. Dont get me wrong, I dont doubt her pain or that it may be extremely painful to her. Im just annoyed that she keeps on telling me about it considering my situation. I have replied with 'welcome to my world' a few times, but she wont take the hint.
Let me give you an analogy to help me get my point across; If something happened to you that left your legs temporarily numb, you wouldnt complain about it to someone who didnt have any legs would you??
Am I just being grumpy and selfish? Or can you guys see why it annoys me? I don't know what to do, but thankfully the baby is due in a few weeks!

[mrsc2b]

Parents
Mother gave me a list of things to do at 9pm on the night I returned from a weekend away after a long drive.
I'm not good at lists and memoir at the best of time let alone when I'm so tired I can barely string a sentence together!
She then comes over to help clean the house to sell and tears strips out of me because my hubby hasn't done the list of things because I forgot.......
An increasing list of days and events that I have been brought to tears when my hubby is not around. Very convenient. WHy wont she say these things to him?!
She also refuses to let me use a scooter at shop mobility because she can't dictate where I go and keep up. She obviously hasn't walked with a mobility scooter around out town...... s....o....o... slooooow!!!!

And breathe
xx