explaining it to young children

[JessicaNJpa]

I just wondered how other moms talk about their pain/ limitations with their little ones. My daughters are 4 and 2 and at times I know they are wondering why I can't pick them up, why I need to rest so much, why I use ice packs a lot, etc. I want to be honest without giving them a burden. Any ideas?

[isotope]

In my view, you should just act as though it's normal (well, it IS for you) and they will too. Everyone's different.

This is what I do with my daughter and she's getting to know to ask things now like 'is that your bad wrist' or 'is your back better yet?' before jumping on me or pulling at my hand etc. She's 4, by the way.

What makes me quite cross is when OH says something that I deem negative in front of my daughter, such as 'yes, mummy's a right klutz' or 'mummy is weak'. That makes him sound worse than he is, they are flippant comments and he doesn't mean anything by them, he just doesn't think.

I grew up with a blind father and never thought anything of it as nothing big was made of it by most people around me. That's how it should be, if you ask me.

[trekster]

My nephew is 6 and I told him I was using a wheelchair 'because of my poorly legs'. He is used to his great gran having difficulties walking and sweetly offered to push me when he sensed I needed help I guess you could use an example they can relate to eg if they fall off their bike and hurt their legs that is what hurts for you.

thanks for posting this topic im wondering how to explain it to Alf and appreciate your help

[Rosie]

Hiya

I work eith young children and usually use m wheelchair when I am in the nursery with them, but they also see me get out of it and walka round, or stand as I am getting the chair in the car, and they just accept it. Occassionally one of them will ask me why I have a wheelchair and I usually tell them it's because my legs don't work very well. To be honest, they are a lot more interested in how the chair works and if they can have a go. The nursey has a toy wheelchair to put teddies in, and sometimes they will play with this beside me, or fetch it to show me, but they accept the chair and my limitations much better than adults do and love to be chased by me in my chair, even though I can't keep up with them on trikes or scooters.
I think it is important to explain to children, however young, what is affecting your behaviour around them. Little minds are wonderful things but they can sometimes think that it is because of something they have done that you don't pick them up today, so explaining that your back hurts, or your shoulders aren't working properly could be reassuring for them, as it explains what you are doing or not doing.

Rosie

[missteal]

Hello,

I have two children also, one is 7 and one is 5. I have always been honest with my children about my body. My youngest now comes home from school and immediately asks "how are you today mummy?" it's so sweet. I think they understand a lot more than we give them credit for tbh. I seem to remember having to explain to my daughter at about 2 because I couldn't pick her up due to being pregnant and extra loose. I just tell them that my body doesn't work like other peoples. That it takes me more energy to do normal things which is why I fall asleep sometimes. My 7 yr old now understands that my joints are loose and I can't do some things like other mums do. Now they're that bit older they really like to help me on my bad days. They put the closes in the washing machine and pick the plates out of the dishwasher etc. Maybe just start off with "Mummy has an ouchie back".

Hope you're having a good day x